Jeff Foster = Idiot

The title pretty much says it all.

Last night was one of the most exciting basketball games I've watched in awhile when the Pacers visited the Lakers with a chance to win in LA for the first time since 1999. The Lakers fans were so wired up that they even started a "Pacers Suck" chant, which I haven't heard since 2004, so that was awesome. I finally felt like an opposing team's fans actually knew who we were. But with 3 seconds remaining, down two points and the ball in our hands at halfcourt, things went down the drain.

Let's set this up for you. So the game was going great. Granger was lighting Kobe up, Dunleavy (in only his 2nd game this season) scored 22 points including a monster 3 to to tie the game. But just before that, the first signs of defeat began to show itself. Danny Granger fouled and on his way to the bench, Pau Gasol said a few choice words to him as he walked off the court and Granger exploded off the bench to go put some Sweet Chin Music on Gasol and kill him. But T.J. Ford, who has played in only 6 of the past 11 games, held Granger back, preventing the second-greatest punch/kick in Pacer history from happening (the No. 1 punch of course happening here).

After this disaster and after Kobe gave the Lakers a two-point lead, three seconds remained on the clock and it was up to coach JOB (stands for "I won't be coaching here in two years") to draw up a play where Dunleavy inbounds the ball to a player who either gives the ball back to Dunleavy or finds Diener for a 3-pointer and the win. The problem with that play is that the player who received the ball was a backup center known as Jeff Foster, or as I like to call him, "the biggest piece of shit of January 9, 2009"

So what transpired was an almost exact replica of a scene from Teen Wolf. During the championship game, the Beavers passed the ball to Chubs at the free-throw line. He held the ball over his head while he twisted frantically and desperately to find an open teammate to pass the ball to despite the fact that none of the opposing team's defenders were within five feet of guarding (remember this for later). The oversized center realized that no one was open. He stood there lifeless. But then Mick yelled "Shoot the ball fatboy!" and Chubs shot the ball, made the shot and music started and the montage began en route to a Beavers dramatic victory that was described in detail in an earlier post on this award-winning blog.

The difference in the Pacer game was that Mick apparently didn't buy a ticket to the game, despite being an actor, and therefore he wasn't there to yell "Shoot the ball you dipshit!" So, Foster held the ball over his head while he twisted frantically and desperately to find an open teammate to pass the ball to despite the fact that none of the opposing team's defenders were within five feet of guarding him (remember this? I told you to remember this, c'mon!) Finally, Foster realizes his situation and he turns to put up a desperation 18-footer.

But the buzzer sounds. He shoots anyways. He airballs it three feet to the right of the rim.

Game over.

The players run off the court completely pissed off that they didn't even get the chance to score and win. Foster runs off with his typical frowned look of disgust at himself that he shows us a minimum 16 times per quarter.

So that's where we stand after two dramatic games at Phoenix (win) and LA (loss). Let's move on...

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