At least tell us the Janitor's name...

What a surprise it was for me when I flipped through my channel guide on Sunday afternoon and landed on Wednesday's episode synopsis of my favorite television show in the history of the universe, Scrubs. Here's what it read (and still reads):

"New, 'My Finale', J.D. bids Sacred Heart farewell in the eighth-season finale. His agenda before he goes includes getting a hug from Dr. Cox and learning the Janitor's name. Meanwhile, Elliot slowly moves her belongings into J.D.'s new place. (Comedy), (S=Some Sexual Suggestions, D=Some Suggestive Dialogue)."

Wow. How is this happening so soon? I didn't believe that the season (series?) finale was this week until Mike Tirico actually plugged the episode during the Denver-Dallas game. I gotta be honest, it floored me. I thought we had a good five episodes left this year. At least we're guaranteed some strong sexual suggestions and dialogue. That seems only fair to the loyal viewers.

We all knew Zach Braff was leaving after this season, and with the ongoing storyline of J.D. and Elliot pulling a Ross and Rachel and finally getting together after eight, drama-filled years, it looks like Sarah Chalke is definitely ending her run on the show as well. At the beginning of the season, rumors were heavy that the show would return for a ninth season without J.D., a move that would allow the show to focus on the new cast of interns, who turned out to be extremely entertaining as the show progressed. Unfortunately, the foreign-looking dude (that's the politically correct term for 'the guy who looks like he'd blow up a building while shouting Durka Durka' guy) was nabbed by the new Parks and Recreation show on NBC, leaving a big hole in the cast of interns. As the season progressed, the interns were pretty much fazed out of real episodes and relegated to their own web miniseries (it's funny, look it up).

Various media outlets are reporting that ABC is still in serious talks to renew the show, not only without Braff, but also without creative driving force Bill Lawrence. At the beginning of this season, I talked (and even wrote here) that I wanted Scrubs to keep going forever, but I was worried that the show would parallel the disaster of the final That 70's Show seasons that went on without Forman and Kelso, leaving the show stale, stagnant and unfunny.

I've tried to convince myself that Scrubs would be immune to such a debacle even without its top star, but I really think that it's time to roll the credits. It's time to give the Todd one last giant, throbbing hand-slap, have Kelso catch one final monstrous muffin, watch one last gayish moment between Turk and J.D. (this will obviously occur right before J.D. hits the road in what could be the second gayest-straight emotional moment in my entire life, second only to sausage-fest human pyramid that the residents of 920 Neely put together on our final day of celebration of college debauchery), one final song by Ted's a cappella group, one final "200-words in 15 seconds" rant by Dr. Cox, one final girl nickname for J.D., one last killing a paitient from Doug, one last appearance of Laverne, one ending run of the "extra's" such as Beardface, Colonel Doctor, Hooch (Hooch is crazy), Dr. Mickhead, Snoop Dogg Attending, a comeback appearance of Rowdy, one final insult from J.D.'s brother, Dan, one final lesbian moment between Carla and Elliot (this IS going to happen as it is previewed in the promo), one final daydream from J.D., one last screwed up sports reference from J.D., one last order of an Appletini, one last trick on J.D. played by the Janitor, one last crazy Janitor rant, and, of course, the revealing of Janitor's real name.

Now, I'm up in the air about whether they're really reveal Janitor's name. The folks of Seinfeld always regretted letting "Cosmo" Kramer out of the bag. I'll be fine whatever they do, so don't you worry about me, but I'd like for them to either not give out the name or go "balls to the wall" and name him "John Dorian" just to completely flip the lid on the bitch.

It's amazing how long Scrubs has survived. It started at the worst time possible, twenty days after 9/11. I didn't discover the show until 2004 when I took a chance and rented Season 1, Disc 1 through Netflix. I heard it was funny and thought what the hell, let's do this. Usually I don't take chances on shows, but fate led me directly to the doorstep of the greatest show on Earth. I remember dragging Joel into the living room to watch it with me, and we didn't move or speak until the disc was finished. We only laughed, laughed and hysterically laughed some more. It was awesome. Soon, the Err Dizz finally decided that the show wasn't a poor man's ER and gave it a chance too. He'll owe me for eternity for that one.

We'll never be able to walk into any hospital the same again because of Scrubs. Every time I walk into a giant, cold hospital building I wonder if there's an epiphany toilet on the roof, or do people who look like Sarah Chalke really work here, or is an intern hiding in that closet?

While ER, Grey's Anatomy, and House use all-out crazy, no-way-that-can-ever-happen-in-real-life-drama to keep veiwers glued to their screen, Scrubs used comedy to hide its real stories about real doctors in real situations. There weren't too many times (with exception of J.D.'s dreams, of course) where you thought "there's no way that can ever happen in real life" while watching the show.

And the real genius of Scrubs was the ability to hide the emotional and intellectual discussions about life behind a wall of college-based potty and sex humor. My favorite episodes aren't based on if Todd received more than 10 high-fives, or if Elliot took her shirt off or whether Heather Locklear walked in slow-motion in all her early 2000's glory. No, the episodes I will always remember took the characters to new levels and found funny in not-so-funny situations. As someone who has to make light of any dark situation in order to survive, this part of the show was great for me.

Scrubs was at its best when the it conquered topics such as Brendan Fraser's death, Michael J. Fox's bout with crippling OCD, J.D. saving Dr. Cox from a drunken oblivion of alcoholism, Turk and Carla's wedding, J.D. and Dan dealing with the death of their father, the 100th episode tie-in of Wizard of Oz, Turk's loss of religion on Christmas, the ongoing gug-guy romance of Turk and J.D. and the father-son relationship of Dr. Cox and J.D. that kept me glued to the TV set.

And, say what you want about the differences between Season 1 and Season 8, but the show didn't remain stagnant. Other shows, such as Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond, had characters that remained the same from the pilot to the series finale. The main characters of Scrubs changed drastically.

The show went through several stages during it's run. We saw the main characters go from interns into the egotistic doctors they vowed not to become. J.D. became Dr. Cox. Dr. Cox became Kelso, Turk went from player to family man, Eliot went from insecure, pasty-white crying girl, to head doctor, pasty-white and freakin hot chick, Carla went from bitchy nurse to mother-figure of the entire hospital, and even Janitor went from figment of J.D.'s imagination to scene-stealer. Sure, J.D. got a little whiny in seasons 6-7, but if that is the by-product of the show having the balls to transform itself as the characters transform themselves, then I'm ok with it.

Other changes we witnessed involved the list of secondary characters doubling through the middle years, but they became scarce in the final season (I think I've seen the Todd twice this season and both times he was wearing a banana hammock, which is awkward). We've seen marriages, break-ups, pregnancies, sex, death, crying, laughing, drama and, most imporantly, comedy.

And we nervously awaited the show list for NBC each season as we wondered whether the show would be canceled or renewed. This time, I'm not worrying about it.

If it's on again next year (without Braff and Lawrence), I'll tune in for the occasional episode. But for me, the buck stops here. Seasons 1-8 defined my early 20's. Whenever it was on, I was captivated and I laughed, a lot. People who grew up with the Beatles talk about how the band grew and changed as they grew in their own lives. Our generation is different because of cable and the huge diversity of music that we don't have a generation-defining band or even TV show (we're not saying American Idol defined our culture right? Right? C'mon). But, for me, Scrubs grew and changed and so did I.

Here's a little anecdote to show how defining Scrubs was on my life. I didn't watch the Pacers on the first night of my honeymoon. I didn't even listen to the band that will be played at my funeral, the Beatles, on the night of my wedding.

No, on the first night of our honeymoon, we watched Scrubs.

And here's the scoop Marsha, it was wonderful.

You Tube...no, you're a tube.
Seems only fitting.