Link Me Twice Baby

Since Bo wrote an epic six-page blog today, there's no need for me to say anything. So on to the links....

2 minutes...2-ah
Opening night was last night in Detroit and the Pacers let the world know that they mean business...as in American businesses that let their jobs go oversees, fire their workers and hire new workers...it's called turnovers, and the Pacers are apparently the best at them. The Pacers gave the ball away 22 times and guess what? The Pistons took the ball every time. What a bunch of stealing assholes. Just because we turn the ball over doesn't mean you have to take it!

Anyways, the team actually played decent at times and Roy Hibbert even pulled off a Hakeem Olajuwon move for his first two points of his career (pictured here, trust me, it was cooler in person..well on TV). Of course, he only played six minutes after that. Didn't understand that one but hopefully he gets more playing time in the future. So Pacer season is officially started and the Mrs. Thug Mrs. and I are going to opening night at the Reggie Miller Fieldhouse on Saturday evening. Celtics suck. Let's get that out of the way right now. They especially suck because people with the first name Phil and people with the last name Friend really like them. So you know they're bad. I'm looking forward to the thrashing Hibbert gives Garnett down low. He only needs six minutes to get it done.

Bobsled This!
Speaking of the honorable Phil Friend, I hope you're going to see the great Zionsville soccer team win a state championship this Saturday. I, of course, will be watching your Celtics lose that evening, but I hope you go to watch your boi Petts and Co. dominate this time year.

It's Beetles...with an A
The video game Rock Band could be using Beatle songs in the future. Where was this game at when we lived at 920 Neely?

I Me Mine
This segment is dedicated to other Sean Stevenson's in the world who somehow land in my news alerts. This is my Australian brethren. My mate, Sean Stevenson, is a top player on a regional cricket team over cross the ocean. Apparently, he dominates in ever aspect of the game, just like his namesake...me. Way to bring celebrity and greatness to our name!

My Sox are White
Here's the SI article I was talking bout that is on yer Blackhawks.

Hello Mr. Radio
I don't watch Mad Men, but maybe I should...enjoy!

Mrs. Thug Mrs.
I have a feeling this could be Tom's link as well, but we'll stick it here (that's what she said). Here's yer boi Zac and his finely tuned up abs.

Info for Bo
This is an interesting college grant program that you might be interested in. I don't remember you mentioning it before and it seems like it's a really great program that gets money to it's participants very quickly.

It's too high

Sitting here watching Major League in honor of Bo's epic season preview of your Indiana Pacers. I'm definitely gonna be the fan dressed in Indian attire in the season opener saying the grand slam is "too high" to get out of the ball park. Ever the optimist. That'll be me. Some days I think we're winning 41 games, some days (like today) I think we're not winning more than 25. But Mark Boyle is definitely going to reach Harry Doyle status this year. I fully expect to look down from my perch in the Reggie Miller Fieldhouse to see Boyle doing shots of Captain while cussing on the air because "no one's listening anyway." That will happen this season.

Also in news, my newest friend Isiah Thomas is having some trouble sleeping (or is it his daughter? No one knows at this point). The police are saying that Thomas is a liar and that was the 47-year-old man who was taken to the hospital and not his 17-year-old daughter. If it really was Thomas that was taken to the hospital, I'm going to be really interested in hearing his explanation for trying to get his daughter take the hit on this one.

On to the links...

2 minutes...2-ah
In more Pacer news, the franchise doesn't expect to make any money for at least three years according to this report. Say hello to the Seattle Pacers.

My Sox are White
I assume you saw yer boi got an extension but just in case here ya go.

Mrs. Thug Mrs.
Good and bad news for Beech Grove. You have a new high-tech emergency system at your school. Unfortunately, the football team lost last night.

Hello Mr. Radio
More like hello Mr. Short Story. Since you've become a literary writer, I thought I should send you a couple of fantastic short stories that you need to read. Jonathon Swift's A Modest Proposal is one of my fav's about how eating babies can solve England's problems. Another great one is Edgar's The Tell-Tale Heart. Oh yeah, and here's a hot chick.

Info for Bo
No need to worry about Dunkin Donut robbers at your new store. Some young hooligans who held-up three of your stores were finally caught. Now you can just worry about serving that delicious coffee and donuts that make us all proud.

Mr. Thomas, you have redeemed yourself

Our final class of my Coaching of Basketball class at Indiana University took place on Tuesday. The lab portion went by rather uneventfully as we did our teacher evaluation and that was it. We didn't have a clue what our last lecture would entail, but I held out hope for a final visit by coach Tom Crean. Instead, we had speaker that put every member of the coaching staff (including Crean) in the audience. Our professor introduced a man who helped hang that beautiful red 1981 championship banner in Bob Knight Hall, he won two NBA championships with the Detroit Pistons and has had a controversial career since hanging up his shoes. Yep, Isiah Thomas walked into our classroom on Tuesday. Isiah effin Thomas. It was incredible.

Imagine taking a class in college and in walks a hall of fame player. I thought I had been pretty excited with Crean spoke that first time, but this even beat that. Had Bob Knight walked in the IU press room, I would have spontaneously combusted. That's not even a question. So Thomas came in and talked about basketball philosophy before doing a Q&A session with the class for almost an hour. Whatever I've said about Thomas over the years (particularly about his stint as the Pacers coach from 2000-03) went out the window on Tuesday. He wasn't even asked to speak at our class, he volunteered to do it.

He's definitely not the best speaker in the world. He's no Tom Crean. He was just like on TV. Quiet, soft-spoken and he smiles all the time. And his hands belong on a gorilla. Geezus. He's two inches taller than me, but his hands must be five times my size. God blessed him with those hands and you know what they say about guys with big hands...they become all-stars and average 19 points and 9 assists during their NBA careers.

I definitely wanted to share some of his talking points on here. Obviously, he didn't know a former sportswriter was in the room, so there's a few things I'm not putting on here that were controversial and plus I consider that my bonus for paying to take the class. So below is just some of the things he talked about during his time in Bloomington on Tuesday. But first! We're starting with two awards that I'm giving to two of my esteemed and highly-respected classmates.

Dumbest Effin Question of the Day Award -- This award goes to the dumbass who asked what it was like for Thomas to play on the Original Dream Team in 1992. Go ahead, check this link and look for Thomas' name on the roster. You won't find it. A guy who had won two championships and was still one of the top point guards in the league in 1992 did NOT make the team (although he did make the 1994 team after he had retired). Anyways, it took my classmate about 30 seconds to spit out his question, all the while Thomas was just smiling and laughing on stage while the rest of the class cringed like we were witnessing in slow motion a guy trying to hit his brakes before he slams into a donkey on a rural road last week. Thomas just laughed it off though and told him we'd be surprised by how often he gets asked that question. I'd be surprised if that guy graduates.

The Sleeping Through The Most Famous Guest Speaker You'll Ever Have In A Class at IU Award -- This award goes to the guy who slept through the most famous guest speaker he'll ever have in a class at IU. Seriously. It's time to step back, take a long look at your life and think about what path you're heading down. I can see sleeping through a middle english class (hell, I do it every Tuesday and Thursday between 1-2:30), but this wasn't Geoffrey Chaucer doing a spiel on alliteration in class. This was Isiah Effin Thomas! Get with the program. Kudos to Thomas for calling the kid out in the middle of his speech by having the kid behind him wake up Miss Sleeping Beauty. Thomas even asked if he wanted a coffee.

On to the talking points...

- He played for some amazing coaches in his day, but it was interesting to hear how his H.S. coach and coach Knight both never ran any plays. No out-of-bounds plays and no set plays. Ever. They just let Thomas do his thing. Thomas said when he got to the Pistons for training camp, they handed him an epic novel full of plays and he only learned ONE of them for the first months of the season. He said that didn't go well.

- He definitely liked the idea of freedom on the court. He said, "If you have great freedom, then you get great discipline." It was a Knight philosophy that he's taken with him.

- On that same point, he told us future coaches to not make basketball too complicated. He said Knight taught them how to play basketball (not how to play set plays), so they could play in any situation.

- He showed some plays that he ran as a coach in the NBA (didn't seem like he's a big X's and O's guy) and he talked about some other things in philosophy before turning to the Q&A session.

- Asked what he thought about the Knicks and he said he thought Nate Robinson, David Lee and Wilson Chandler could all become all-stars, particularly Robinson this season.

- He was describing a play they used when Eddy Curry was actually a decent player and then he said they had to abandon it once, "Eddy fell off the Earth."

- He said drugs were rampant in the NBA when he and the other "sober" 80's stars came in to the league. He also mentioned how almost all of the 80's stars who left college early went back and got degrees, something that is lost in today's NBA.

- He listed four characteristics that he looked for in players when he was GM: intensity, concentration, energy and character. He said character was the one that required the most work to figure out.

- On coaching: "I don't think I would ever coach again in the NBA."

- On the salary cap: "The salary cap model is a very antiquated model for dealing with today's sports."

- On IU: Crean is apparently really reaching out to these former IU players as Thomas said it was the first time that the team had reached out to him since Knight was fired. Thomas said Crean was doing a great job and he thought IU would be back on track within the year and that he would do anything they asked to help out the program.

- He also talked about how great of teammate Dennis Rodman was to the Pistons. He said Rodman would stand back during lay-up drills and he could count the number of revolutions the ball made on each shot, which helped him determine where the ball would bounce off the basket.

- On his biggest match-up problems in the league. Thomas said he couldn't defend Mark Price for about a three-year period. He said he asked coach Chuck Daley to take him out early in the game so he could come back in and play against the 2nd unit, which he would dominate and then get credit for winning the game. He also mentioned some double-jointed freak that played for the Bulls during that time (not that Jordan character) that had some crippling cross-over that he couldn't guard. Tim Buckley was the only guy in the room who had heard of him.

Like I said before, he talked about some other things, particularly the one-and-done college rule in the NBA, but you got the gist of the convo. Big thanks to Thomas for stopping by and talking to the class. If you ever get the chance to take this class at IU...do it! It's gonna be there every Fall so get prepared now.

Back to the East

After traveling the western portion of the United States of America examining all of the Western Conference teams in the NBA, I'm back in the eastern part of the US to take a look at our beloved Eastern Conference. Before we get to that, however, I had to ask EA Sports what it was thinking with the wii version of NBA Live 09? I rented the game this weekend and it's OK if you throw the legends on your team (the Pacers went from a team 73 rating to a 96 rating after I added Bill Russell, Larry Bird, Pete Maravich and Magic Johnson to my starting lineup. We need to make this happen in real life...asap). Anyways, the gameplay is kinda fun since you get to shoot the ball with your wii controller, but the game lacks a dynasty mode, it's hard to pass with any accuaracy and I especially love it when the game tells me I'm on a 54-47 run when the score is 56-47. The biggest complaint however was Josh McRoberts' 86 player rating. To give you some perspective, Maravich is rated a 79 and Russel an 83. McRoberts is apparently the best Pacer and one of the best players in the Eastern Conference. Very interesting indeed.

On to the...
EASTERN CONFERENCE
ATLANTIC
Boston (1) - Rajon Rondo: Unfortunately, his fate is that same as Randy Foye. A point guard drafted my fantasy team means certain death. May peace be with him.

Toronto (5) - Jermaine O'Neal: I'm just happy the new Pacer promotion allows to me to turn in all my old JO jerseys for 30 percent off of new jerseys. For that, I thank Jermaine. For being an awful leader and sucky player the last two years, I predict his knee injury comes back in mid-December and he's in-and-out for the next four months.

Philadelphia (7) - Elton Brand: Everybody thinks Brand is due for a breakout year with Philly, but I'm not buying. After playing in front of fan apathy for the past 10 years, Brand discovers Philly fans to be quite different. He becomes so scared to play in front of a hostile crowd that his cowering body is left in the locker room to rot for the entire season.

New Jersey - Yi: He's big and Chinese, which to me means he'll be injured a lot. Knee injury knocks him out five months.

New York - Donnie Walsh: The man looks more and more decrepid with each day as he comes closer and closer to resembling the Undertaker's Paul Bearer as seen here. I don't want to predict our former GM's death, so we'll just say he takes a medical leave while his team continues to suck the breath out of a dead mule.

CENTRAL
Cleveland (2) - LeBron James: For some reason, this just seems like Cleveland's breakout year to me. I know, I know, they were in the Finals two years ago. But that team didn't belong there. LeBron seems hungrier, stronger and better. James will miss one game due to greatness.

Detroit (3) - Entire team: When will this team just go away? I'm tired of watching them. I hate them. All of them are injured and miss significant time.

Chicago (8) - Tyrus Thomas: After signing way too many cards for Eric to collect, Thomas gets a crippling hand cramp that requires amputation. Unfortunately, the gangreen covers his entire body and he must be amputated into quarters. He misses the rest of the season.

Indiana - I'm not predicting an injury here. It looks like we're a .500 team, but if it comes down to us and Chi-town, it seems like Chi-town always gets the best of us. Plus, I can't remember the last healthy season we had (oh wait, I can...2003-04 when we won 61 games), so we can probably count on a few injuries especially since 1/2 the team has already missed the preseason. I'm hoping for better things, so let's hope I'm pleasantly surprised.

Milwaukee - Andrew Bogut: I've had three mates from Australia trying to get me to sell them a cheap ass Bogut game-used card. His home country must really love him over there. Therefore, I'm predicting a kangeroo stomps on him to death. He misses the rest of the season.

SOUTHEAST
Orlando (4) - Mickey Mouse: The Magic Kingdom falls on the beloved Disney character, ending a century-long career.

Washington (6) - Gilbert Arenas: I don't know how we writes such long blog entries. I'm dying just trying to hammer this thing out in a 1/2 hour. I'm bored already, I can't imagine how bored the reader is right now. Somehow though, Gilbert is one of the best bloggers out there. Obviously, hand cramp derails his career.

Miami - D Wade: This time he doesn't get back up in the commercial. Out of rest of season.

Atlanta - Josh Childress: The very important sixth man will...wait, what? He's playing in Europe now? He helped the Hawks push Boston to a Game 7 and they goose-stepped around and let him sign overseas? Wow...ballsy. Chalk that up as a season-ending injury to ownership.

Charlotte - Adam Morrison: Oh how life has been unsettling to watch the Stache fall from beloved Gonzaga porn star to oft-injured Bobcat. This time, the crying hurts even more as he drowns in his own puddle of tears at night. He misses the rest of the season.

There you have it. That's how the NBA season will go down. Book it.

My Sox are White
Well NBA.com did a season simulation with NBA Live and came up with this. You should be happy about your Bulls finishing fourth in the East. My Pacers, on the other hand, are destined for a top-3 pick. Guess they didn't insert Bird and Russell on the simulation team.

Mrs. Thug Mrs.
So what's Kristin up to these days? Well, glad you asked. She's got a guest spot on CSI coming up. Remember when her and Lauren were pretty much equals on Laguna? Looks like LC has won the war.

Hello Mr. Radio
You saw this coming. Enjoy.

Info for Bo
This dude does a month-by-month prediction of the Pacers this season. He says we go 9-8 in January. That would be a miracle even by Jesus' standards.

You tube...no, you're a tube
Since I posted the original SNL skit about Mark Wahlberg, I better post Wahlberg's appearance this weekend in response to it. Great stuff.

Headin' West

Well I screwed the pooch on Thursday. I had to miss my Coaching of Basketball class at IU because I didn't get my awesome Middle English homework done the night before and of course, this blog's breadwinner Roshown McLeod showed up for his second stint in the class. I wish I could post of his stories but alas, I was trying to decipher a effin epic poem that starts off by saying, "Some things should never be read the first time and this is one of them." Effectively it means you have no chance of understanding anything unless 1) you speak Middle English (I do not); 2) You reread it 27 times (I will not) and 3) You give a shit (I do not).

But we're moving on to bigger and better things. I've decided to trash my epic Pacer blog that compares this 08-09 team to the 93-94 team. Two reasons: 1) It's completely unfair to the 93-94 team, because this year's team doesn't have 1/2 the talent and 2) I just can't make a case to compare Roy Hibbert (who's looked better than Smits ever did in preseason play) to Rik Smits and Danny Granger to Reggie Miller. Just can't do it. So while Bo and I were attending the first home preseason game on Wednesday, Bo noticed how the game felt eerily similar to the start of Major League. He came up with some good comparisons so I've put him in charge of coming up with a blog entry and be an honorary writer. Hopefully that will come soon. Until then, the next two blogs are previewing the NBA season. Because I was so right in picking the NFL season's top injury (Tom Brady), I figured I really owe it to the world to predict a major injury for every NBA team. So that's how we're doing this. If you happen to be a player that is featured in this list and you feel offended that I predict you might die from your injured ailment, please don't be offended. I would just start praying and then I would just quit playing basketball. I've been right about these things before and that's not changing.

THE WEST (WHERE THE SUN SETS)
NORTHWEST
Utah (1) - Andrei Gennadevich Kirilenko: In an unfortunate incident, Sly Stallone attends the Jazz-Lakers game on Jan. 2 and the aging actor sees AK-47 on the court. Stallone thinks Ak-47 is the one and only Ivan Drago from Rocky IV and he goes into a fit of dementia where he runs on the court and beats Kirilenko senseless as only Rocky could. Kirilenko misses three months.

Portland (7) - Greg Oden: In the third week of the season, the rest of his body catches up with his face and the 20-year-old Oden suddenly is collecting social security at age 64 (yes, that's a Beatles reference). Oden never plays again.

Denver - Allen Iverson: Apparently everyone but Kobe from the 96-97 draft aged about 43 years during last season. Suddenly O'Neal, Iverson, Allen, Marbury and Nash weren't as good anymore. The old-age hits Iverson again as his lungs collapse in the high altitute of Denver. Iverson misses 17 weeks.

Minnesota - Randy Foye: I drafted him as my backup point guard in my fantasy basketball league, which is a roster spot that is like a death trap on my team. He'll miss at least 3 months to some freak injury.

Oklahoma City - None: This is team is just bad enough to suck without any catestrophic injuries.

PACIFIC
L.A. Lakers (2) - Laker girls: The cheerleaders have major back and knee problems after being Kobe'd so often after games. The injury is recurring.

Phoenix (6) - Shaq: The Big Daddy comes down with a major case of Tired Butt Syndrome. He'll miss 3/4 of the season.

L.A. Clippers - Steve Novak: After being talked about so much by former Marquette coaches during my Coaching of Basketball class, Novak gets a big head about it and is hunted down by African head-hunters in the jungles Southern California. Novak dies upon beheading.

Golden State - Monta Ellis: The suspended point guard re-injures himself during his 30-game suspension and this time he really was playing pick-up basketball. But the boy who cried wolf is suspended the rest of the season and then traded.

Sacramento - Brad Miller: Indiana farming accident. Unlike the boy in Superman III, there is no Man of Steel to keep Miller from being chopped into pieces from a combine.

SOUTHWEST
Houston (3) - Ron Artest: While sitting on the bench during a Rockets game in December (not sure which day, my crystal ball is cloudy on this), a Corona Bottle will be thrown at Artest's head and it will shatter into millions of pieces of glass, many of which are imbedded into his skull. This time he doesn't get up and charge the stands to fight the fans. Artest will miss the rest of the season due to death.

San Antonio (4) - Tony Parker: After watching new episodes of Desperate Housewives, Parker sees how wife Eva Longoria looks without make-up (seriously, wow). He goes into shock. Parker misses one month.

New Orleans (5) - Peja Stojackovic: In a similar incident to Parker, Peja looks in the mirror to see how ugly his Euro ass really is. He goes into shock. Peja misses five months (he is much uglier than a makeup-less Longoria).

Dallas (8) - Shawne Williams: After hanging out with murderers while with the Pacers, Williams starts hanging with Texas murderers. Apparently he never watched Clint Eastwood movies. These guys actually kill people like all the time, not like those Memphis/Indy types. Williams is sentenced to life in jail. He misses the rest of the season.

Memphis - O.J. Mayo: After the Earth is invaded by an army of Jolly Green Giants in Feburary (roughly), the rookie is used as mayo on one of the giant's ham & cheese sandwiches. He misses the rest of the season.

On to the links...

Hello Mr. Radio
Eva Longoria in her better times. Enjoy.

It's Beetles..with an A
So Ringo is cutting off fans. No more letters or autographs after Oct. 10. What a bitter old man. What ever happened to Yellow Submarine, With A Little Help From My Friends and Octopus's Garden?

2 minutes...2-ah
Well, after one preseason game (and another tonight) it's pretty safe to say we're not making the playoffs and that the Reggie Miller Fieldhouse is going to be pretty spacious this year. Granger isn't shooting well, Jarrett Jack reminds me of Travis Best on every play and the two people doing emcee at the games suck balls (I can't understand a word they say). On the flipside, Hibbert looks great, T.J. Ford is fast as Satan flying through Chaos in Paradise Lost and Austin Croshere is finally riding the bench. Those are good things. (BTW, Bo and I did Croshere's plus-minus for the Dallas game and he was minus-29...real smooth).

Info for Bo
I will only be impressed when you recruit a cross country team like this. Two hundred runners on one team shouldn't be too hard to get.

Link Me

Being the post that's in-between the epic Oasis review and the soon-to-be epic NBA preview, we're gonna keep this short and sweet with the links you care about. All I want to say is a big thanks to Indiana.rivals.com who helped spike my readership up about 2,348% last week. My blog about Roshown McLeod's visit to my coaching class was linked on the site and I hope the 500+ IU fans enjoyed the retelling of McLeod's classic stories.

On to the links...

2 minutes...2-ah
After a disaster of a opening preseason game, the Pacers came back with a little win over the Bulls on Friday. The bigger news, however, was that the Pacers are only one step away from completely ridding itself of the Thug Life and completing the transformation to a team that spends Christmas morning with God in church, while the previous players apparently stole myrrh and frankincense from babies. Either way, the trading of Shawne Williams to Dallas for draft picks, money and the recently deceased Eddie Jones, leaves Jamaal Tinsley as the last man standing. Of course, he's standing in Atlanta as he was told not to join the team this season. Larry Bird has definitely lived up to his promise to destroy and rebuild this team. We'll see if the influx of white players (I think Eddie Jones counts as white doesn't he?) get the racist people of Indianapolis in the seats of Reggie Miller Fieldhouse again. Should be interesting.

It's Beetles...with an A
Whoa!!! Breaking news in Britain...the Beckham's spawn listens to the Beatles. We'll use this opportunity to fill the next brief...

Hello, Mr. Radio
...welcome to the blog Posh Spice. Enjoy.

Info for Bo
I'm watching yer Ravens being destroyed by the Colts right now. This is more of an observation than a link today. Hope that helped.

Mrs. Thug Mrs.
Whitney is getting her own spin-off from the Hills as it will follow her to New York. It's called the City. I wonder who got paid to think of that. I want his/her job.

My Sox are White
This is classic Onion. Enjoy.

Ma! I can read a photo!
Don't worry Mr. Arab man. You've got oil shooing out of every orafice so I think you'll be fine. Joel, this shoulda been a photo you got in Columbus. Seems like this happens all the time down there.

Bobsled This!
This is a link to your own story, but it made me so proud to see you cover the shit out of a conference cross country meet. You dominated it. [sniff] they grow up [sniff] so damn [sniff] fast.

You tube...no, you're a tube
If you missed the latest Office episode, check it out here. Trust me, you'll want to pee in a bottle rather than get up and use the restroom during this one.

Dig Out Your Soul (******* out of **)

Even though I've had an (il)legal copy of Oasis' new album "Dig Out Your Soul" for the past month now, I wanted to wait until I had the real thing in my hands (that's what she said) before I gave my thoughts about it. Well, being an Oasis freak I obviously loved the album (hence the 2,000 stars out of two in the headline). So I'm biased. But the album is getting great reviews all over the place, including a really awesome American review in USA Today on Tuesday which gave the album 3 1/2 stars out of 4, while accompanying it with a good article about the band.

Rolling Stone, linked somewhere in another post below, also gave a good review even though it was negative. To clarify, a good American review doesn't focus solely on these three things: 1) How the record compares to "Wonderwall"; 2) The fact Noel and Liam hate each other; and 3) the fact that Oasis is ripping off the Beatles. These are essentials for reviewers who don't know jack shite about the band. Well the brothers haven't fought openly for more than 10 years now; they'll never record another Wonderwall and thank God they've moved on to other things; and Christ! It's been 14 years now, they're not ripping off the Beatles anymore, they're ripping off Oasis. How long does it take for a band to given credit for their own sound even if that sound was originally taken from other bands? Seriously, the Beatles were influenced heavily by Buddy Holly but you didn't read some idiot trying to convince readers that Sgt. Pepper was some kind of take on Peggy Sue.

That being said...Oasis totally ripped off the Beatles on this album. I'm just kidding, but this is seriously the band's answer to my favorite Beatles record of all time -- Revolver. Oasis has been trying re-make that record for the past decade, and they've failed every time. It's hard to live up to the greatest masterpiece ever recorded. But this time, they got as close as they'll probably ever get. Let's clarify, first of all, that we're talking John Lennon's Revolver and not The Beatles' Revolver. Oasis isn't copying Yellow Submarine and Good Day Sunshine here. They're going full force at doing Tomorrow Never Knows, She Said She Said and I'm Only Sleeping. The mesmerizing sounds of Lennon's voice (who by the way celebrates a birthday today) and the instruments are very similar to the sounds on Dig Out Your Soul.

Another similarity is the fact that I have no fucking clue what single will be released after The Shock of the Lightning. That's because all the other songs deviate from the usual Oasis sound of hit single. These songs are all go off on different tangents, yet they sound great while doing it. Same thing with the songs on Revolver. When I tell people that's my favorite Beatles record, usually I get the reaction that they've never heard of the record or any songs on it. Everybody knows 1, Abbey Road and Sgt. Pepper, but a commoner doesn't know Rubber Soul or Revolver. Yellow Submarine and Eleanor Rigby were the only singles on the record and for the first time for the Beatles, the other songs weren't meant to be hit singles. Oasis has done the same thing here. Also, both records are the band's seventh outing, so if you're superstitious or gay, that might be interesting to you.

Anyways, I wanted to go through track-by-track just to get my initial reactions to the songs down in the stone that is called blogging. Just an observation. I'm going to list them from least-favorite to favorite, even though there isn't a song I don't like. This is going to be difficult, time-consuming and painful (again, that's what she's said way too often).

Ain't Got Nothing -- This is the one song I feel like I've already heard before, which was Liam's The Meaning of Soul from Don't Believe The Truth. Driving beat, cheap lyrics and a "in your face" personality.

The Nature of Reality -- For being athiest, the Gallagher's sure do write about God and religion a lot on this record. Like a lot.

(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady -- This song certainly sounds like it could be Lennon on Revolver.

The Shock of the Lightning -- The band's first single, which debuted at #2 in England, isn't in my top five songs on the album. That's saying something. Not sure what, but it's saying something.

The Turning -- Seriously, this is the most difficult thing I've done in like 15 minutes (anyone know anything about Middle English literature? Wanna do a 6-page paper about bodily appetite and how it's reflected in poetry from the late-medieval period? Yeah, exactly, my soul was sucked dry just writing that prompt).

To Be Where There's Life -- This is a very interesting song. It's mesmerizing and has some fantastic lyrics. Gem continues to impress with his lyric writing. Ya know, CCR just bombed into hell when Fogerty decided to let his brother and others start writing songs. Luckily for Oasis, this has made them 50 times better.

Soldier On -- Read above. Liam's songs are fantastic as well. Really though, if you had written Wonderwall, Don't Look Back in Anger, Live Forever and Champagne Supernova, would you let anyone else in your band write songs? Kudos for Noel to know a good song when a bandmate presents one. Of course, after writing all but one of the songs for Standing On The Shoulder of Giants, the bad 2000 album by Oasis, I guess Noel would be more receptive for help. Geezus, I listened to that album the other day. Gas Panic is about all there is worth listening to. Oasis sure has gone from one end of the spectrum to the other in one decade.

Falling Down -- More Revolver right here. Notice that I'm comparing Oasis to the Beatles and not saying they're ripping the Beatles off. Big difference there. At least that's what I'll keep telling myself.

I'm Outta Time -- Haunting song. Besides the excerpt of the John Lennon interview that aired two days before he was shot, what an amazing vocal performance by Liam. Definitely one of the best rock vocalists of all-time. Also, the chord progression stolen from Lennon's Jealous Guy means Oasis has now lifted the chords from Imagine (on Don't Look Back in Anger) and Jealous Guy, two of Lennon's most popular solo songs.

Waiting for the Rapture -- More God stuff. This song, sung by Noel, is all about kicking ass and taking names. This and the last four songs could switch positions at any time. Just so happened this ended up second for this round. Man, Soldier On, Falling Down, I'm Outta Time and Rapture are just on a different level from anything Oasis has done in 12 years. Fantastic!

Bag It Up -- First song on the album and I knew it was my favorite the first time I heard it. The pre-chorus is absolutely ridiculous. If you're not an Oasis fan or don't think you'll like this record, just download this song and one of the other four I said were amazing. I think you'll be convinced.

Just know that you're not getting the big choruses of (What's the Story) Morning Glory, but you're getting some of the best music I've heard this decade. DISCLAIMER: I think I probably said this when I first heard Don't Believe The Truth (2005) and Heathen Chemistry (2003) so take it for what it's worth. But this album is definitely better than both of those..combined. Trust me, I've got an iTunes playlist to prove it. Anyways, the album is already No. 1 in England and I got the last copy at BestBuy today so maybe it will do some suprising things on the U.S. chart as well.

Oh yeah, and here's the quote of the day. Remember that Noel was recently attacked on stage by a deranged fan and he had broken ribs, thus canceling the Canadian tour. Liam's quote: "It's not nice when you look down and see your brother on the deck," he told Sky News before the show, referring to the assault on Noel. "If it was up to me, I'd have cut his [the attacker's] dick off and made him eat it."

Bam.

On to the links...

2 minutes...2-ah
The first Pacer preseason game was an absolute blast to watch last night. I mean it. It was like being blasted in the face with a V2 Nazi rocket. Nothing like losing by 34 points in the first game of the season when your supposedly making a comeback. Note to Pacers: Don't send out image surveys the day after a game like that. I don't think you'll enjoy my answers.

Some notes from the game: Jarrett Jack reminds me way way too much of Travis Best. He was absolutely out of control all night; T.J. Ford looked good, hopefully he stay healthy; Any player who gets ejected for a bow in his first game is alright by me, kudos to Roy Hibbert; and as Bo said, Mike Dunleavy's outfit was amazing.

It's Beetles..with an A
This egghead says the Beatles were strictly capitalists and not music heroes. Makes sense since they squandered all their money and signed awful contracts that eventually lost them their songs to Michael Effin Jackson. But I digress.

Hello, Mr. Radio
Obviously you missed the disclaimer portion of the last blog entry. Oh well, I'll assume your two-a-day job life is crushing your ability to read. So here's a fancy dancy picture instead. Was this girl ever in yer TComm classes? She is sports reporter Carrie Milbank...Enjoy.

My Sox Are White and Bobsled This!
You both like Franz Ferdinand so here's zome updated news on their third album

Okay, I'm done. Until next time.

You tube...no you're a tube

This SNL skit cracked me up this weekend. I know the Palin-skit gets all the hype but this one was just ridiculous. The Mary Poppins fatal disease was also great, but the Mark Wahlberg impression was spot on.

C'mon Denver, do the damn trade already

I was really, really hoping (read: praying) that by the time I wrote this blog post this afternoon that Jamaal Tinsley would be on the next supersonic jet to Denver to be introduced to Nugget-land folk in that classic powder blue jersey. In turn, I would be ecstatic and full of excitement as I wrote my good riddance letter to him in this blog. But, nothing has happened and now The Boston Globe (what they have to do with this is anyone's guess) is reporting that Denver is hesitant now about the trade because of Tinsley's contract. Damnit! Bird had obviously been withholding that information to Denver execs that Tinsley is owed $21 million over the next three seasons. I only can hope now that they don't notice the fact that he has played more than 52 games in a season only ONCE in the past FIVE years and the fact that he sucks balls. I hope they really miss that fact.

[NOTE: I refuse to have Croshere and Tinsley has my lead photos for two posts in a row. Thus, we're leading with Reggie for the hell of it.]

Also in Pacer news, Indy Star beat reporter Mike Wells has been reporting on training camp as Jim O'Brien is actually allowing press to watch a large portion of practices. That's definitely cool. Tim Buckley should have been all over this at BSU. Instead, they hung up black curtains around the arena so nobody could see all the shit that was happening with the team. Black curtains of Death. Fo sho. I'm gonna bring this up when Buckley steps into my Coaching of Basketball classroom again. Anyways, Sunday's pickup game at Reggie Miller Fieldhouse apparently went well as Roy Hibbert and Marquis Daniels particularly impressed Wells. Croshere is apparently the exact player he was when he was a Pacer (Yeah! Where's the mob at when you need them? I just need one well-place horse head put in Croshere's bed to scare him out of Indy. Just one head, not too much to ask people.).

In a Champagne Supernova...in the sky
The new Oasis cd arrives in stores Tuesday (only $9.99 at BestBuy for all you cheap bastards out there). Here's a recent review by New York Times (fairly positive) and less positive review by RollingStone. Fuck em. Buy it or download it. It'll be worth your time.

I Me Mine
This segment is dedicated to other Sean Stevenson's in the world who somehow land in my news alerts. This dude continues to shop up in my news alerts for his football abilities on the offensive line for a school in Utah. I also played offensive line on my sixth grade football team. Yeah, that's right. An 80-pound, twig-figured, 5-foot boy was on the offensive line. Why? Well, I was slow, dumb and slower. That was the end of my football career. I coulda been a contender. Way to bring celebrity and greatness to our name!

Ma! I can read a photo!
Joel, you've been so awful lately that this dude can't even look at you. That's right, he will now be referred to as "This Dude" in all captions. Put that in your notebook.

My Sox are White
More Cub-bashing? Sure, why not. Guess God decided to ignore these curses and just go with the sweep this year.

Info for Bo
So while I was looking at Tinsley's BasketballReference.com site, I stumbled upon this Pacers fan site that I'd never seen before but it looks like it gets a lot of traffic and good convo.

You Tube...no, you're a tube
Just started reading John Feinstein's A Season on the Brink about IU's 1985-86 season with Bob Knight. First of all, Knight is hilarious to read about. The shit he says in those practices is pure genius and I wish I coulda used it on my junior high cross country teams (I obviously would've been fired immediately, but I'm thinkin it would have been worth it). Anyways, they mention this outtake from a commercial in the book and it's on the tube so enjoy.

The Great White Dope

"He had the best practice of everybody today." -- Pacer coach Jim O'Brien

The first practices around the NBA began this week and it's safe to say that my faith in the Pacers is dwindling after reading that quote. "But Sean?!? That quote is actually a positive thing!" said Ringo, my cat. 1) A big F-U to anyone who doesn't think my cat and I communicate about our favorite team. 2) that quote is being deceptive to you young Ringo. O'Brien was talking about the one, the only, the Master of the Seven-Year Contract -- Mr. Austin Croshere!!! Yeah!!! I actually thought that he had been tied up, gagged, blind-folded and left to rot in the Golden State locker room. Nope, he's just currently trying out for the Pacers. Same thing.

Well, apparently Croshere has gone from a Dead Man's version of Larry Bird to becoming the next Legend himself. Writers from the IndyStar said that Croshere didn't miss a shot during the opening practice and that Bird was quite impressed. Surprise, surprise. Bird always love Croshere (who has averaged nearly 4 ppg in 10 minutes per contest the past two years) so when I read that Croshere was invited to camp, I knew something was a foot. Croshere said he wouldn't be there if he didn't think the Pacers woul open a roster spot for him, so right away I'm thinking that Bird and O'Brien want the White 44 on the bench next season and have basically guarenteed him that. So that's really exciting.

I don't know. When I finally release my long anticipated epic blog post comparing the 08-09 Pacers to the 93-94 Pacers, you'll see a favorable comparison of Croshere to a quality member on that team. But I'm still skeptical. How bout you Ringo? Damnit, use the litter box!

In a champagne supernova...in the sky
In case you decided to not be like this blogger and not download the one-month premature online release of the new Oasis album, then you can start listening to the album now on MySpace as Oasis is releasing it early on the site.

Disclaimer
This isn't a new section. This is merely a way of saying that with the influx of categories into this blog, I'm running out of time to find and fill a category for each post. So, unfortunately, regrettably and sexually, I'm going to have to leave out a couple of categories each time. Quiet Down!! Now, I'll never leave a category out two times in a row (I can't guarentee this...in fact..ignore this). All I'm sayin is I'll get to what I can. Back off!

Hello, Mr. Radio
Another reason for you to hate the Cubs. Enjoy!

My Sox Are White
See...blame Err Dizz for the disclaimer. As a new member to the blogging community, we welcome his mightiness and his new section. I spent about 3 seconds finding a link for this brand spankin new category and then I saw this. Seemed like something you should be a part of.

Bobsled This!
This was titled "You've got a Friend in Phil" but that was extremely lame and I need any excuse I can get to bring back the award-winning and critically slammed series from the BSU Daily News. I immediately thought of you when I saw this...well you were a close second to some illegal thoughts.

Ma! I can read a photo!
Whoa! Another new category in one blog? Amazing I know and this one goes to the only photog who is a friend of the blog, all others shall perish in flames. Eighter a dumb photo showcasing the ridiculousness of this profession or a photo I actually like will go here to honor our Columbus brethren. This one is Pulitzer worhty.

Mrs. Thug Mrs.
I feel like you'd love to live in Stars Hollow someday, so if someone has the time to make a Wikipedia article for a fictional town, then I'd better share it with you.

Info for Bo
Your new Mr. Kennedy tattoo is selling like hotcakes on the bay. I expect you to buy as many as it will take to cover your entire body.