From the New Year's Baby himself

Since I'll be fighting a nice-sized hangover tomorrow while trying to celebrate my 25th birthday, I better go ahead and wish everyone a Happy New Year directly from the best New Year's baby of them all (that'd be yours truly, aka me, aka Sean, and possibly by 10 p.m. tonight, aka Chuck.)

Hope you all have your resolutions in order. I don't think I've ever done a New Year's resolution. I guess that's cuz I'm so pre-occupied with my birthday. Well I've got a couple this year and I'm keeping them right where they belong: in my New Year's diaper with the other crap I think of doing but never get accomplished.

Apparently us New Year's babies are so awesome that they've got a movie documentary on us. Now the Web site will lead you to believe that it's actually documenting how six Cambodian kids escaped genocide or some crap, but that's not true cuz who would want to see that. I mean seriously. So hopefully they snuck an interview of me in there somewhere.

I guess I owe you all something for actually clicking on this link, so here's the best I can do on the eve of the greatest day of the year: My favorite "You tube...no, you're a tube" moment of 2008.

Enjoy.

I Think We Can Take These Guys: Scott Howard and the Final Game

I'm going to get honest with all you faithful readers.

After spending a good week on fine-tuning two 10-page research/analysis papers on Middle English Literature and 17th Century British Literature, I've been kinda taking the past few days off this week. Some call it a treat to myself, others may see it as extreme laziness. If you think the latter, then you're about to blown away with what I did on this cloudy Friday afternoon.

After ESPN columnist Bill Simmons mentioned the 80's classic movie Teen Wolf on his podcast the other day, I decided I should watch the movie again. Then once Bo even mentioned the movie before the Pacer game Wednesday because of the football guy who changed his name to Stylez cuz of the movie, well I had no choice but to watch it.

So after some great quotes "Give me a keg of beer", "Well Dad it didn't pass me by, it landed on my face" and "Shoot it fatboy" (these obviously don't count Coach Bobby Finstock, who still is my coaching hero and mentor and I'm saving him for an entire blog examination of the man and the myth), I came upon the final championship game.

Now Simmons always talks about the box score of the final game. He's never posted the actual box even though he sat down once and tried to figure it out. So I took hold the opportunity and choked the life out of it. I got out the Official Basketball Scorebook, sat down in my pajamas in mid-afternoon and scored one of the greatest games in movie history. Anyways, I wrote the results in an e-mail to Simmons himself. He'll do one of the three things with the info: 1) get psyched about the e-mail and help me fill out the "lost" stats; 2) absolutely make fun of me in a column (which would be a great second choice) or 3) end his mailbag with the usual "and these are my readers" without answering the question and dodging his chance at making history. Here's me hoping that Simmons comes through here. So without further ado, here is the e-mail I sent to Simmons this afternoon.

"There are very few personal codes of conduct that I have in life, but one of my main rules is that whenever I hear or see something about the movie "Teen Wolf" I must watch the movie within 48 hours. No exceptions. So after your recent podcast that mentioned the movie, I went back and watched the film for roughly the 200th time. On this occasion, however, I had my handy Offical Basketball Scorebook. I've never seen your official box score of the Championship game so I decided to do my own. I only kept track of the Beavers side, since we miss the Dragons' first 22 points and we really only see Mick score a few points during the game montage.

Here were my final stats that we actually see for the Beavers (note: these stats include the "double plays" where the director uses the same camera shot twice): Scott Howard (#42) -- 14 pts, 3 stl, 6 asts, 5-7 FG, 4-5 FT; Chubby (#55) -- 5 pts, 1 reb, 2-2 FG, 1-1 FT; #33 -- 8 pts, 1 stl, 4-5 FG; #45 -- 8 pts, 3 blks, 2 reb, 1 ast, 4-4 FG.

So the viewer sees 35 of the 52 points scored by the Beavers.

We come into the game with 2:12 remaining in the first quarter when Scott finally arrives at the gym. At that point, the Dragons hold a 22-3 lead. Now, you claimed in the podcast that Scott probably got the triple double with points, assists and steals. We see him get 14 points, five assists and three steals. That means there are 14 points not accounted for that he could have assisted on (this is not counting the three points scored before he entered the game), so there is a possibility that he had 12 assists for the game if he assisted on all of the field goals that we didn't see (this also assuming there no free throws shot during that time). So it is possible. I also think it's possible that he had double-digit steals. From the 2:12 mark in the first until the 6:51 mark in the third quarter, the Beavers only score seven points (which is funny since the montage shows the team and crowd totally out-of-control during the comeback, yet they still were outscored 9-7 for more than a 1 1/2 quarter after Scott entered the game).

The Beavers trailed 31-10 just after halftime. There must have been some pretty awful basketball played in between those marks, although we do see all seven points that the Beavers score in that time. It's possible that he picked up four or five steals since he came in fresh and was probably playing out of his mind on defense.

Anyways, my question to you is how would you divide up the rest of the Beavers' 14 points that we didn't see? I think it's safe to assume that #23 (Brad), who is apparently the team's best player at the start of the season, scores the first three points of the game before leaving because of injury. So does Scott reach 20 points or do you give the extra points to the post players who probably put up "ordinary" shots that weren't good enough for the film?"

So as you can see it was a pretty intense game that begs to have a finished box score so we can determine once and for all if Scott Howard got that triple double. It's important because as Teen Wolf, he came away with the elusive and controversial quadruple-double, but there isn't statistical evidence to back that up. We need "proof" that the real Scott Howard is just as successful.

Now I know that you have questions. Yes, I had way, way too much fun doing this. And yes, I will never watch the final game as a spectator again, as now I'll be watching it like Ron Jaworski sitting in front of the NFL coaches' tape. Oh, and yes, I am married, but she was at work and therefore couldn't prevent this from happening. She opened the door and I took advantage of my freedom, and I'm not ashamed about it.

Hopefully Simmons helps me out with the box, cuz then I'll post an entire game story so it's etched in history forever. This will NOT be the final Teen Wolf post. We need to examine why this is such an awesome movie and also get an exclusive interview with Coach Finstock. Until then, let's end with some special Teen Wolf links.

Hello Mr. Radio
Pamela Wells ends up missing the Scott Howard gravy train at the end of the movie, but you may still be able to get her.

Info for Bo
Obviously you need a drinking game to watch this movie.

Ho, Ho, Ho
Although Pamela could go here as well [insert drum kick], this is for anyone who is still looking for that perfect X-mas/Birthday gift for me. Any of these t-shirts would get you far with me.

A Bigger Loser Than Me
This person actually wrote a "Coaches' manual" for how opposing coaches can stop Teen Wolf based on his personal experience.

You tube...no, you're a tube
Like it would be anything else...Enjoy!

Beatles: Rock Band Style

Despite the Indiana Pacers now hitting their stride with a one-game winning streak after pummeling the four-win Wizards on Monday, we're going to focus on happier things in this blog. So let's turn our attention to something everyone we all care about: The Beatles. It was announced a month ago that for X-mas 2009, the producers of the video game Rock Band will make a Beatles Edition of the game. I've only played Guitar Hero, but I expect that I'll have to own the game even just for the sole purpose of my cat, Ringo, getting to fulfill his destiny of playing the drums. What a dream come true that would be for everybody!

Well this week, IGN produced an article laying out their top 10 songs that have to be included in the game and I tended to agree to disagree with many of their picks. Here are the top 10 songs that they came up with (and here's the link if you think I'm lying): Twist and Shout (obvious choice), A Hard Days Night, I'm A Loser, Help!, Drive My Car, Day Tripper, Penny Lane, With A Little Help From My Friends, Back In The U.S.S.R, and All of Abbey Road. Obviously they got the first six and then just said Eff it and started throwing stuff that on there that would make people drive up their forum numbers before the end of the year. And putting "All of Abbey Road" is quite the cop-out. So we're gonna do this the right way and put together the 10 songs that will make the Beatles video game complete...in no particular order

1. Twist and Shout -- If the guys of 920 Neely can turn this into a Karaoke staple, than this song has to be included. Rockin beat, amazing vocals, guitar licks and thundering drums, this song was made for a video game. The Neely gang always thought about touring with this song as our theme and I'm afraid this is as close as we're gonna get to fulfilling all of our lifelong dreams of doing so.

2. Day Tripper -- Any song covered by Jimi Hendrix (check out the BBC Sessions) has to be included. The guitar lick is huge and harmony vocals (do they do that in these games?) will be rockin. (side note: the link on the song features one of the first "music videos" where the Beatles recorded this video to send out to TV stations instead of going themselves...Pre-2002 MTV you can thank the Beatles now...Post-2002 MTV where the hell are re-runs of Laguna Beach? Seriously, let's get some Lauren-Stephen-Kristin drama going again)

3. While My Guitar Gently Weeps -- Now I don't know if this game will include piano (if not then the beginning of the song will need something to happen) but you have to include Eric Clapton's lone cameo on a Beatles song. Amazing guitar solo + Written by dude who's wife will leave him for the guest guitar player = Great Rock Band song.

4. Helter Skelter -- Sticking with the White Album, let's get some rockin Paul McCartney on here. Nothing will feel better than playing a video game with your friends while rocking out to the song that helped lead to the Manson killings. What an adrenaline rush! Also you're drummer will get to pretend those blisters on his fingers are from playing the skins on this song instead of the skins in front of his computer.

5. A Hard Days Night -- IGN got this one right because it has the iconic opening card and the fast-paced rocker will have everyone sweating for the first time together since that "accidental" circle jerk freshman year.

6. Revolution -- The opening riff will certainly break the TV speakers if done properly and the rockin song will give the vocalist of the group the chance to have orgasmic screams in the closing minute, which I don't know who would want to turn down that chance.

7. Taxman -- Wow. This song would be amazing on Rock Band. Fun bass line to keep your bassist happy, drum rolls at every corner, fun to sing and Paul's guitar solo would rock the socks off a 70-year-old nun.

8. Hey Bulldog -- Again, gotta find a way to get around the piano thing, but I have faith in all you game designers who are reading this right now. Take this info and fly to the Heavens with it. You're amazing! Also, this song has to make the cut again for great guitar lick and vocals that include barking like dogs, which again allows for more bonding outside of the bedroom.

9. Drive My Car -- Another IGN winner as the bass line takes the cake for this song and makes it a Rock Band necessity.

Geezus this is tough. Well I'm adding Ticket to Ride, I Feel Fine, Help!, Dear Prudence, Glass Onion, Come Together, Get Back, Norwegian Wood, Paperback Writer, Rain, I Saw Her Standing There, It Won't Be Long, The End, I Want You, I Should Have Known Better and You Can't Do That to the Honarable Mention list. But the No. 10 spot goes to....

10. I'm Down -- Paul's answer to Little Richard, this song was the set closer in 1965 and 1966 and for good reason. Another rocker that has a searing lead vocal, great backing vocals, a nice lead guitar lick and thrashing drums. All equaling the perfect No. 10 for Rock Band: Beatles Version (or whatever the hell they're calling this).

Oh and I challenge these devolopers to make Revolution 9 somehow playable in this game. That would definitely move the game into close contention with Mario Kart for best game ever.

And So Sally Can Wait
Oasis is only a couple months removed from their last album release and they're currently on tour in the US, but Noel Gallagher says the band has already demoed the next album. But don't get antsy on me. Gallagher is saying that he might record a solo album before the next Oasis cd is recorded.

Hello Mr. Radio
In honor of the post below...enjoy

Info for Bo / Bobsled This!
Those of us who choose to worship The Office were delighted the other day to hear that Jack Black is appearing in the Super Bowl episode, well now bust a nut on this one...Jessica Alba will be joining him.

I Me Mine
This segment is dedicated to other Sean Stevenson's in the world who somehow land in my news alerts. This dude is basically dominating the turf after being named to the First Team All-Region Four Football Team earlier this month. He did not, however, make the All-Academic Team. I guess I got all the brains in the family. Anyways, way to bring celebrity and greatness to our name!

You tube...no, you're a tube
President Bush = Jedi

Worst....Team....Ever

The 2008-09 Indiana Pacers are the worst basketball team I've ever seen.

There, I've said it. And no I'm not overreacting to the team losing six of its past seven games after the amazing Laker win (which becomes more amazing with each passing loss). Ok, so maybe I'm being a little crazy about this. I mean they could definitely beat the freshman AAU team that I coached for one game and consequently lost one game by like 932 points. So the Pacers could beat that team...but it'd be close.

Last night was the first meeting between the Raptors (who now have Jermaine O'Neal) and the Pacers (who now have T.J. Ford, Rasho and Hibbert). O'Neal sucked but it doesn't compare to the ultimate suck job that Ford displayed on the court. Ford had four points and four assists. (Here he is pictured pointing at his stat line while providing an maniacal laugh at Larry Bird) Ugh. Remember the good ole' days when Ford came so close to nabbing three straight triple-doubles. Oh you don't? That's probably because it happened at the beginning of the season before the Pacers had strangled the life out of its team because its point guard's headband isn't letting enough blood to his ill-formed head.

Whatever. I'm over it. No I'm not. Where the hell is Mike Dunleavy and can Bird get a real effin doctor on this team to cure the bastard. I mean Magic Johnson had freakin AIDS and he was back on the court playing that summer in the 1992 Olympics. You gotta Man Up Mikey.

Ok, I feel better...on to the links...

Look Ma, I can read a photo!
Because Joel hasn't updated his blog in a month (agast!) , I was going to put one of his photos from Sportshooter on here (the one of the coach glaring down his bench is tremendous) to help his fans out a little bit. But of course the photography site doesn't let you save photos b/c people might actually want to save photos they like and that's not good for anybody. So here's the damn link.

2 minutes...2-ah
Well the 08-09 Pacers (see above) have kinda fallen off of the pace of the 93-94 Pacer sqaud that made it to the Eastern Conference Finals. That team ran off five wins in six games in the middle of December to have a record of 10-11. This year's team is currently sitting 13th in the East with a 7-14 record. But there's good news people. The 93-94 team went a wall and skidded into January losing six of seven games. Those Pacers were 11-17 at the beginning of January. So you're telling me there's a chance.

Hello Mr. Radio
The new cover of GQ...enjoy

My Sox are White
I just wanted to make sure that you saw yer boi getting ripped by his coach this week.

Info for Bo
I really thought that the new CEO of Dunkin was gonna be you. I figured you knew about it all along and this whole "financial aid" and "quitting dunkin only to be rehired" thing was just some sick joke and that really you were leading one of the only companies not firing 90 percent of their employees. But apparently that is not the case. But Nigel says he's taking Dunkin to the next level and I assume that you'll be meeting him there.

You tube...no, you're a tube
Have to give a shoutout to the sister of this blogger for finding this gem of a scene from a Pinky and the Brain episode. If Pinky and the Brain or Animaniacs weren't apart of your childhood then give yourself a Christmas miracle and make it a part of your life right now starting with this tremendous nod to the Beatles. Yoyo Nono actually sounds better than Yoko's real singing. Enjoy.

Explain this to me like I'm an 8 year old

Last night's The Office episode was an instant classic. The episodes this season have been great, but only a couple of been hilariously funny from start-to-finish and this one took the cake. You had the best characters getting the most airtime (Michael, Jim, Dwight and Andy) and anytime that Schrute Farms is used as a set background, you know you're in for a good time. After watching four times since last night I figured I should share the episode for all the minions who read this blog (all 2.5 billion of you).

(Note: I hate embedding Hulu videos on here cuz it royally screws up the beautiful symmetry of this blog, so here's the link to the video)

2 minutes...2-ah

Like you didn't expect this. Well the Pacers are now 2-0 against teams that played in the NBA Finals last season (that'd be Boston and the Lakers for you not in the know). We're not gonna talk about their record against other teams, so let's just focus on last night's win over the Lakers. I'm trying not to think about how awesome a win at Boston would be tonight, so we're not going to talk about this either.

Needless to say, the win was amazing last night. We had tickets to this game, but I have night class on Tuesday evenings so I have to sell all of my Tuesday games. I should have gouged the hell of these tickets. I was so happy that I missed the game of the decade. In the words of the honorable Phil Friend..."False." I finally picked up the radio station on the way back from Bloomington (I don't understand this because I can listen to 1070 all the way down to Bloomington, but on my way back I can't pick it up until I get about 15 minutes from the apt...unbelievable) when the Pacers just tied the game at 84-84. Then the Lakers scored like 79 straight points (actually 17, I think). I was not happy with myself. Bo was not happy with me either. I figured I had caused yet another loss. But no, instead I was the driving force for our biggest comeback in years and the first game-winning basket since _____ (Bo still needs to look this up). I wanted to take all the aclaim and glory, but I guess Murphy, who hit the game-winning tip in, and Granger, who had a game-high 32 points, deserve some credit. It's probably better I wasn't there really. I would've easily dropped more than $200 in the gift shop afterwards and that's not good for anybody.

Oh by the way, this year's Pacers are 7-10. What was the 93-94 Pacers record on Dec. 9, 1993? What an amazing question. They were 7-10 after a 111-105 victory over the Magic. Shaq scored 49 points that game. And Reggie Miller had 32 points and Rik Smits won the game with a tip-in at the buzzer...ok, ok I'm obviously lying about the last part, but seriously this is getting weird.

Enough chitty-chat. Here's the video. Enjoy.