I Think We Can Take These Guys: Scott Howard and the Final Game

I'm going to get honest with all you faithful readers.

After spending a good week on fine-tuning two 10-page research/analysis papers on Middle English Literature and 17th Century British Literature, I've been kinda taking the past few days off this week. Some call it a treat to myself, others may see it as extreme laziness. If you think the latter, then you're about to blown away with what I did on this cloudy Friday afternoon.

After ESPN columnist Bill Simmons mentioned the 80's classic movie Teen Wolf on his podcast the other day, I decided I should watch the movie again. Then once Bo even mentioned the movie before the Pacer game Wednesday because of the football guy who changed his name to Stylez cuz of the movie, well I had no choice but to watch it.

So after some great quotes "Give me a keg of beer", "Well Dad it didn't pass me by, it landed on my face" and "Shoot it fatboy" (these obviously don't count Coach Bobby Finstock, who still is my coaching hero and mentor and I'm saving him for an entire blog examination of the man and the myth), I came upon the final championship game.

Now Simmons always talks about the box score of the final game. He's never posted the actual box even though he sat down once and tried to figure it out. So I took hold the opportunity and choked the life out of it. I got out the Official Basketball Scorebook, sat down in my pajamas in mid-afternoon and scored one of the greatest games in movie history. Anyways, I wrote the results in an e-mail to Simmons himself. He'll do one of the three things with the info: 1) get psyched about the e-mail and help me fill out the "lost" stats; 2) absolutely make fun of me in a column (which would be a great second choice) or 3) end his mailbag with the usual "and these are my readers" without answering the question and dodging his chance at making history. Here's me hoping that Simmons comes through here. So without further ado, here is the e-mail I sent to Simmons this afternoon.

"There are very few personal codes of conduct that I have in life, but one of my main rules is that whenever I hear or see something about the movie "Teen Wolf" I must watch the movie within 48 hours. No exceptions. So after your recent podcast that mentioned the movie, I went back and watched the film for roughly the 200th time. On this occasion, however, I had my handy Offical Basketball Scorebook. I've never seen your official box score of the Championship game so I decided to do my own. I only kept track of the Beavers side, since we miss the Dragons' first 22 points and we really only see Mick score a few points during the game montage.

Here were my final stats that we actually see for the Beavers (note: these stats include the "double plays" where the director uses the same camera shot twice): Scott Howard (#42) -- 14 pts, 3 stl, 6 asts, 5-7 FG, 4-5 FT; Chubby (#55) -- 5 pts, 1 reb, 2-2 FG, 1-1 FT; #33 -- 8 pts, 1 stl, 4-5 FG; #45 -- 8 pts, 3 blks, 2 reb, 1 ast, 4-4 FG.

So the viewer sees 35 of the 52 points scored by the Beavers.

We come into the game with 2:12 remaining in the first quarter when Scott finally arrives at the gym. At that point, the Dragons hold a 22-3 lead. Now, you claimed in the podcast that Scott probably got the triple double with points, assists and steals. We see him get 14 points, five assists and three steals. That means there are 14 points not accounted for that he could have assisted on (this is not counting the three points scored before he entered the game), so there is a possibility that he had 12 assists for the game if he assisted on all of the field goals that we didn't see (this also assuming there no free throws shot during that time). So it is possible. I also think it's possible that he had double-digit steals. From the 2:12 mark in the first until the 6:51 mark in the third quarter, the Beavers only score seven points (which is funny since the montage shows the team and crowd totally out-of-control during the comeback, yet they still were outscored 9-7 for more than a 1 1/2 quarter after Scott entered the game).

The Beavers trailed 31-10 just after halftime. There must have been some pretty awful basketball played in between those marks, although we do see all seven points that the Beavers score in that time. It's possible that he picked up four or five steals since he came in fresh and was probably playing out of his mind on defense.

Anyways, my question to you is how would you divide up the rest of the Beavers' 14 points that we didn't see? I think it's safe to assume that #23 (Brad), who is apparently the team's best player at the start of the season, scores the first three points of the game before leaving because of injury. So does Scott reach 20 points or do you give the extra points to the post players who probably put up "ordinary" shots that weren't good enough for the film?"

So as you can see it was a pretty intense game that begs to have a finished box score so we can determine once and for all if Scott Howard got that triple double. It's important because as Teen Wolf, he came away with the elusive and controversial quadruple-double, but there isn't statistical evidence to back that up. We need "proof" that the real Scott Howard is just as successful.

Now I know that you have questions. Yes, I had way, way too much fun doing this. And yes, I will never watch the final game as a spectator again, as now I'll be watching it like Ron Jaworski sitting in front of the NFL coaches' tape. Oh, and yes, I am married, but she was at work and therefore couldn't prevent this from happening. She opened the door and I took advantage of my freedom, and I'm not ashamed about it.

Hopefully Simmons helps me out with the box, cuz then I'll post an entire game story so it's etched in history forever. This will NOT be the final Teen Wolf post. We need to examine why this is such an awesome movie and also get an exclusive interview with Coach Finstock. Until then, let's end with some special Teen Wolf links.

Hello Mr. Radio
Pamela Wells ends up missing the Scott Howard gravy train at the end of the movie, but you may still be able to get her.

Info for Bo
Obviously you need a drinking game to watch this movie.

Ho, Ho, Ho
Although Pamela could go here as well [insert drum kick], this is for anyone who is still looking for that perfect X-mas/Birthday gift for me. Any of these t-shirts would get you far with me.

A Bigger Loser Than Me
This person actually wrote a "Coaches' manual" for how opposing coaches can stop Teen Wolf based on his personal experience.

You tube...no, you're a tube
Like it would be anything else...Enjoy!