1) Why is my favorite team not playing? It's now apparent that the Detroit Pistons fielded a team of handicap zombies to participate in this year's big event as they were slaughtered, demolished and, I'll even offend the mothers of the Thorntown Little League for the second time in my life by saying the Pistons were also "disposed" of by the Cavs of Cleveland. Yes, I'm saying that the Pistons players are equal to trash. Hence the disposing. SIDE NOTE: Now, did I really intend to say that a bunch of hick 12-year-old baseball players from the depths of Boone County were on par with a bag of garbage? No, I did not (but the answer is actually 'Yes, they are equal or greater than a bag of hot, sizzling pile of shit). The use of that verb in my tantalizing and controversial game story on the infamous "Battle of the Diamond" (similar to World War II's "Battle of the Bulge", except with less starvation and more Nazi-esque moms yelling at amateur journalists) between the Thorntown Lion's Club and Dairy Queen teams caused an uproar that I am proud to say I was the catalyst of. My only regret is that I actually apologized for using the word instead of sticking to my guns and bitching the bitch out for bitching me out. But, life's a bitch, so let's move on.
The Pacers would have certainly put on a better performance in four games than the crap that the Pistons threw onto NBA fans everywhere. Even with our attendance problems at the Reggie Miller Fieldhouse, I guarantee that we wouldn't have had to resort to enticing opposing fans to come to games.
Maybe it's time that we re-evaluate why Detroit is still a city. Is it time to harness our inner-Nomad and pack up shop and leave town? Maybe it's time to pull a Chi-town and just burn the damn thing down and start over. Hell, I know several Chicago people who will be first in line with matches to start the fire. We can even use this video as a starting point.2) Lovin' the Bulls-Celtics series. Only problem is that they've scheduled the first two weeks worth of this series on nights (and days) when I'm unavailable to watch it...until Tuesday's Game Five. After slippin' and slidin' my way out of class a nice two hours early on Tuesday, I made it home in time to catch the entire game and it didn't disappoint. It wasn't the dominating late-game heroics from Paul Pierce that got me excited though. Nor was it the crazy shots unleashed by Ben Gordon. It wasn't even the shot of a tearing up Brad Miller that made this game for me. No, for me, this was my first chance to catch the Err Dizz's boi, Bulls' coach Vinny Del Negro, in action during the playoffs.
I had the luxury, nay, privilege, to watch Del Negro coach in-person twice this season. It's not everyday that the Err Dizz and I can poke fun at the ineptness of an NBA coach for an entire game, yet be completely accurate in even the most sarcastic barbs that we make at the guy. There are so many points during games when Vinny has no idea where he is, or who his has playing on the court. The great thing for NBA fans is that Vinny has finally replaced the "George Bush" role in our lives. Comedians are still struggling everyday on coming up with ideas to make fun of Obama, so they resort to 10-year-old Bush jokes (note: I realize the double-entendre of the last phrase, and I'm OK with it). But now we have Del Negro. He's perfect for this gig and here are some reasons: he looks confused, even foolish, on the bench; he does things that make even a casual NBA fan blush such as using all of his timeouts or spending 85 percent of said timeout by standing with his assistants 10 feet away from his players while he stares into the space; he was not the first choice for the job (i.e. the 2000 election) as Mike D'Antoni and Doug Collins were first and second choices; we assume that an older, mysterious figure (i.e. Dick Cheney) is really running the team on the bench in the form of Del Harris.
Therefore, it's enjoyable to see Del Negro on the bench because it's so easy to make jokes and laugh at his expense. I absolutely loved watching the final minute of regulation Tuesday as Del Negro screwed up rotations, drew up some of the worst out-of-timeout plays in the history of the game, and did his best to undermine everything good that Derrick Rose did. So, needless to say, I'm looking forward to catching tonight's game so I can see Bulls fans light him on fire after he tries to insert Andres Nocioni into the game with 10 seconds remaining in the third overtime, thus receiving a technical foul because, per NBA rules, you can't insert guys you traded to another team halfway through the season, but poor Vinny had forgotten this.3) Chris Anderson is a freak. He is also a theif. The Bird-Man thing blatantly breaks the copyright owned by several CORONA members. We call it "Pterodactyl defense" Mr. Anderson. Please send all royalty checks to 920 Neely Ave., Muncie, Ind.
On to the links....
Info for Bo
I don't know about you, but the 93-94 Pacers are looking good. That Game One win in Orlando was an amazing finish as the Pacers nabbed an 89-88 victory. The game-winning play started with Reggie Miller earning a triple-freakin-team as he drove the lane, so he dished to a wide-open Byron Scott who buried the open trey with two seconds remaining. Nick Anderson's 25-foot heave at the buzzer bounced off the back rim and the Pacers were victorious. Miller led the Pacers with 24 points, Rik Smits added 16 and second-year starter Shaq O'Neal added 24 of his own. Here's hoping Game Two is just as exciting as Game One.
Hello, Mr. RadioNow I understand why you love the Blackhawks. It all makes sense now...enjoy!
My Sox are White
After dominating the fantasy baseball league for three weeks, it looks like that I've finally met my match in the battle of the unbeatens this week. Sobucki is making my team look mortal as he's risen to an early 192-150 lead and I only have three starting pictures left this week, meaning certain doom for Team Stevenson. The Err Dizz is on pace to record his third win of the short season as he's thumping Lawlor, and even Thomas D is on pace for his first win.
Bobsled This!
Here's your inspiration for your big sprint competition coming up. Just do exactly what he does and you'll be fine. You might even want to go with the gold chains.
Mrs. Thug Mrs.
Time for your weekly Idol link. Here's a blog that you should be following daily to give you the most up-to-date news.
You tube...no, you're a tube
Pretty excited about his upcoming episode of Family Guy. Enjoy.
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3 comments:
Clearly the Hawks know what good hockey is about...ice girls.
As for Vinny, at least he can work on his golf game during the off season - even though he needs more help in the basketball department.
Oh Sean, I had most definitely forgotten about the "disposed" comment. What a *$&%*( bi(#*. Seriously, who gets worked up about that? That was one of the things that sucked about that place, we had to apologize for everything we did, no matter how ludicrous.
Also, thanks for the Michael Johnson clip...what a motivator!
Today did not go very well. I ran 100 meters, walked 100, did 100, walked 100. Not good times. Tally times of all the runs into one 400 and i was somewhere around 1:20.
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